Q1. Hello, can you please introduce yourself? Readers would love to know more about you.
I am a relationship and sexuality educator. I was trained as a mental health and sex therapist, life coach, and Reiki practitioner. I am a mom of 3, lover of sports, and have been married to an amazing man for 18 years.
Q2. What were the key challenges you faced while writing your book “Not Tonight, Honey”?
Not getting discouraged when I felt stuck. Sometimes the words just didn’t flow and I wanted to give up. I also ended up breaking my leg playing soccer when I was about 90% done with the book. I was so depressed from having surgery and being on crutches for 3 months that I didn’t even open the manuscript for 4 months.
Q3. What books or authors have most influenced your own writing?
Brene Brown, Father Richard Rohr, Paul Conti
Q4. What’s your favourite spot to visit in your own country? And what makes it so special to you?
The U.S. is so big and has so many beautiful places. But as someone who grew up in the Pacific Northwest, I’m definitely enchanted by the water and the mountains of the Puget Sound.
Q5. What inspired you to write the book ‘Not Tonight, Honey’?
I’ve been in the sexuality field for 15 years and I’ve been asked these two questions probably a thousand times: what’s wrong with me and am I broken? Usually I get asked this after I’ve spoken to a group so I don’t have ample time to really address their underlying concerns. So I decided to write a book about why women are asking these questions and offer them practical solutions so they feel more empowered sexually.
Q6. How long did it take you to write your book ‘Not Tonight, Honey’?
11 months
Q7. On what platforms can readers buy your books?
Amazon, Barnes and noble, apple books, pretty much anywhere
Q8. Tell us about the process of coming up with the book cover and the title ‘Not Tonight, Honey’?
I had no idea how hard deciding on the book cover would be! I agonized over it for weeks. I wanted an image that expressed the (primarily sexual) frustration of a woman. Her feelings of isolation and resentment. But I didn’t want her to be angry. I worked with a phenomenal cover designer who was able to capture my desires beautifully. Two feet under the covers pointing opposite ways conveys so much. It’s a powerful picture.
The title came to me one day while I was meditating. “Not tonight, honey,” is a quintessential phrase that captures a lot of women’s honest answering that reflects their disinterest in sex.
Q9. When writing a book how do you keep things fresh, for both your readers and also yourself?
I tried to find a rhythm and a pattern in my writing. So I don’t know if I would describe it as fresh, but more of getting into a groove.
Q10. What is the most valuable piece of advice you’ve been given about writing?
“Don’t sink the ship.” My book coach said that to me. I would go back and wonder if I didn’t include enough information. Enough scientific evidence. Enough anecdotes. Enough content. And she told me about a prince who filled a boat with treasure. And he kept filling it up and up because he just wanted to pack it all in. Then when he went to leave the harbor, the boat sank. She would remind me “Courtney, if you put too much in, you will sink the ship. Sometimes less is more.”
Buy Not Tonight, Honey on Amazon
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